Court St. Lemon Slave Mural R.I.P.

June 2008: "Yes, that is an anthropomorphic Styrofoam cup straddling a seaborne hot dog as a Dunkin' Donuts coffee and its disproportionately-sized pizza pal lounge in the sand while being fanned by a gigantic lemon slave."




Today, September 30, 2008: Nothing.



I'll admit that the old mural frightened and appalled me just as much as it delighted and astonished me. In retrospect, it was a true landmark that I took for granted. Our world is diminished by its passing.

People, you've got to hold on to the donut and donut signage you love!!

Today's Donut Scoop: Court Street Donut House Under Renovation, To Be Renamed "Coffee Shop"

This has been reported in several places, including A Brooklyn Life, from whence the photograph above was shamelessly swiped by your international donut reporter. I think the picture speaks for itself.

No word on whether the new establishment will have donuts. But I'm not holding my breath. After all, you'll recall that even under its former name, Court Street Donut House was the subject of a scathing exclusive NYC Donut Report!! exposé for its failure to, well, serve donuts.

So if the management stays true to form, this new "Coffee Shop" won't have any coffee.

All kidding aside, this is sad news. Another donut establishment can be officially wiped off the books. I know that Dunkin' Donuts is always spawning new branches, so in some ways there are more donuts available in the city than ever before. But you have to remember, there's donuts and then there's donut culture. And, sorry, DD makes a good cruller, but DD is not a purveyor of donut culture.

It's getting to be like "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner" around here -- donuts, donuts everywhere, yet the donut culture is vanishing before our eyes.
.

Another Installment of Everyone's Favorite Game: Donut or Not Donut??

As reported and photographed by Seoul Eats, Mister Donut outlets in Korea have been selling a "tofu donut."

This is real, and apparently not very tasty.



So, I ask you the age old question: Donut or not donut? Please unburden yourself in the comments section.

Oh, and before you respond, remember -- tofu comes from soy, which is often grown alongside "legitimate" donut ingredients such as wheat.

It's like the riddle of the sphinx, this one.

Alpha Donuts, Queens Blvd. and 46th Street, Queens

Location: 45-16 Queens Boulevard, Sunnyside, Queens

Subway: 7 (local only) to 46th/Bliss

My order: Coffee, creme filled, plain sugar, coconut

Cost: $3.90

First things first. You may have heard rumors about this place, that the quality has slipped and it can no longer be counted among the city's great donut shops. Sadly, this is true.

After talking to the staff and reading other reports, it seems that Alpha's donut maker (who by all accounts was some sort of wizard) went back to his homeland (Greece?) without training or designating a successor. As a result, Alpha starting bringing in donuts from a number of different suppliers, all of whom drew many complaints from the regulars, before finally settling on Mac Donut Corp, the giant but little-known donut manufacturing plant in Long Island City.

Faithful NYC Donut Report!! readers will recall that Mac Donut Corp is also the supplier to the infamous Catherine Street donut dive, as well as, I believe, roughly a bazillion coffee carts.

(By the way, the staff is very prickly about this whole issue. I first tried to broach the subject by asking the waitress, "Which of these donuts was made most recently?" To which she replied, after a pause, as though speaking from the podium of a White House press gaggle, "They are all equally fresh.")

Anyway, the results of all this upheaval, when I visited last Friday morning, were barren, depleted, picked-over racks of withered donuts. Apparently the Mac truck had not stopped at 45-16 Queens Boulevard that day, or else it had stopped by but not left enough stock. The interior was still very charming, with the same sort of snaking, S-shaped counter seen at Peter Pan in Greenpoint, but an air of gloom hung over the place. The customers slumped over their scrambled eggs and ink-smudged tabloids as though physically oppressed by that gloom.

The donuts were themselves were OK. The creme filled had a very tasty, slightly spicy vanilla filling inside, but getting to that filling through the semi-stale donut walls was an arduous excavation job. As for the coconut donut, the coconut shavings seemed to be applied very carelessly and unevenly -- even lovelessly, I'd say -- like a plain donut that had been tarred and feathered. The plain sugar donut was unremarkable in every way but held up well when dunked in hot coffee.

In short, if I lived in Sunnyside I would certainly hit this place frequently on my way to the 7 train. Unfortunately, in its current state, Alpha is probably no longer worth the trip for people outside of Queens.

It's sad. Although I was not lucky enough to visit Alpha in its heyday, I know this was once a highly-regarded shop. What do you think is happening? Is this an ominous sign for NYC donut culture as a whole, or just a blip?

Best Cooking Show Ever

It would be fruitless for me to try to explain Thu Tran's "would-be cooking show" Food Party. Just watch. Seriously. Watch it now. Once you do, you will wonder how you got along all your life without a cooking show that features puppets, Satan and donuts growing on trees.



Food Party was screened at the New York Television Festival, which also screened Donut Homies Jeff and Wendy's hilarious sitcom pilot Point View Terrace. PVT was robbed of any awards due to New York provincialism (they are based in LA), but Food Party was given something called the "Outside the Box Award." When accepting the award, Ms. Tran thanked her father, who she said stole all the "brown tape" used to build the sets from his office.

If you can't get enough Food Party, they also have a blog.

Breaking: New Starbucks Donut!!

With little or no fanfare, Starbucks and Top Pot have just put this one out. A whole rack of them appeared at the Starbuck's on 35th Street and 5th Ave yesterday morning. They're so new that the nutritional information card wasn't ready yet, although I'm sure you can assume this one is 500-plus calories. The missing info placard also means that, as far as NYC Donut Report!! is concerned, this new donut is as yet unnamed.

So, may I suggest that we call the new donut, in these times of economic and electoral uncertainty, anxiety and despair, the Starbucks Top Pot Chocolate Glazed Reason to Live™?

Did I mention that this donut is delicious?

As longtime NYC Donut Report!! readers may have gathered, I have always had a special place in my heart for chocolate glazed donuts. They are by far my favorite. When I was a child living in the wholesome, apple-cheeked Midwestern USA, my family would visit the local Winchell's every Sunday after church. Back then, Winchell's had their own donut nomenclature, according to which the chocolate glazed was known as "Devil's Food." So the joy of the delicious donut was only amplified by the delicious irony of dashing straight from mass into the cake-arms of the devil.

Thus every bite of the new Starbucks Top Pot Chocolate Glazed Reason to Live™ (or STPCGRTL™) brought with it a giddy surge of nostalgia and transgression. And it certainly didn't hurt that the donut cake imparted a deep, round chocolate flavor with none of that creepy toothpaste aftertaste that ruins the Dunkin' Donuts chocolate glazed.

What's more, as you can see from the photo, the makers of the STPCGRTL™ certainly weren't timid about pouring on the sugar glaze. There are glaciers of it, and that sweet, sweet topography pairs well with the more subdued flavor of the chocolate cake.

In short, this is the best possible use of your $1.25 at Starbucks. I hope the STPCGRTL™ goes nationwide and replaces the Chocolate Sandcastle, an execrable donut which I now believe may have plunged me into weeks of turmoil and self-doubt.

Piggy!!

UPDATE: For those of you who are mystified by the appearance of Piggy, let me explain. This photo was taken during a rare and extraordinary bi-coastal gathering of Official Donut Homies, including Wendy Molyneux of Fake Interviews with Real Celebrities, her husband Jeff Drake, TV personality and actual reporter Alison Rosen, and others. We were walking along 9th or 10th Avenue somewhere in the Lincoln Tunnel Heights area when we came across Piggy and his owner leaving an apartment building. At once, the entire group nearly collapsed in a paroxysm of dog-love. We then commenced to have an entire photo session with Peggy that lasted several minutes while his owner, who seemed very accustomed to this sort of disruption, quietly waited and checked his voicemail.

I love this picture but even this great photo (courtesy of Mr. Drake) does not adequately convey how adorable Piggy was. He is incredibly stout. You could not ever hope to knock him over.

After we'd put away our cameras walked a few blocks, Wendy said -- and I don't think she was entirely joking -- "You guys, I miss Piggy." Later in the evening I saw other dogs that I knew intellectually were "cute" but, after Piggy, they just left me cold.

So please, everyone, no more hating on Piggy!!

Sighting: Most Adorable Sugar Cookie Ever!!

I know this is not strictly related to donuts, but I wanted to alert you all to the most adorable sugar cookie ever made, currently for sale at the Barnes & Noble Cafe in Brooklyn Heights.



I hope one of you can take this little guy home (I am already calling him "Oscar" in my mind) and treat him well. Important: DO NOT EAT HIM!!

Or, if you must eat little Oscar, be gentle.

He costs $2.95, not including tax.

Starbucks Chocolate Sandcastle Donut

Location: Any Starbucks. In my case, in Hell's Kitchen at 47th St. and 9th Ave.

Cost: $1.25

If your childhood memories are an idyllic, sun-dappled montage of family outings to clean, pristine beaches lapped by azure waters and peopled by tastefully-attired beachgoers gamboling and frolicking around the clambake, then perhaps the Chocolate Sandcastle donut is for you.

My own childhood beach memories, on the other hand, center around the afternoon when my father waved a Dorito at some passing birds and our family was instantly engulfed in a honking flock of ravenous seagulls. I can still hear those wings beating in my nightmares.

At any rate, the Chocolate Sandcastle donut is certainly aptly named. It is essentially a chocolate donut surrounded by a caked-on layer of sugary grit. In weight and consistency, it is remarkably similar to an actual sandcastle.

The grit itself doesn't taste all that bad, but the donut inside that grit is tasteless, dry and boring. I couldn't stop thinking of the seagulls as I ate it, which certainly didn't help me enjoy it. Also, my experience was not enhanced by the middle-aged woman next to me who glumly stared out the window while repeatedly making an upsetting gagging noise, as though half-vomiting.

Of all the Starbucks donuts, this one probably belongs at the bottom of the list. The apple fritter and glazed old-fashioned are both quite good; the Chocolate Sandcastle is more of a gimmick.